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Through The Lens: Albert’s Reflection

May 5, 2020
Chuck Clegg , Wetzel Chronicle

I have to confess that during my home confinement, I have discovered my IQ has increased. Well, at least I feel like I have become a little smarter. Before you laugh at my observation, ask yourself, 'Has my home confinement increased my intelligence?' The answer is easy, when you wake up in the morning and look into the mirror, is the face of Albert Einstein looking back, or at least do you have Albert's hair style.

If we each have taken on the appearance of Albert in our mirror, then we each must be more intelligent. Before this pandemic isolation began, if I showed you a picture of Einstein and asked, "What is special about this man?" You would in all likelihood answered he was one of the smartest people who ever lived. So, in my mind if I wake up every morning looking like Albert, surely my IQ has increased, at least a few points.

It is said Einstein's IQ was between 160 and 190. That is high for any human being. A number between 90 and 100 is considered average. Don't know your number, don't worry, a little later in my story I will give you the opportunity to take my self-created IQ test.

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In my quest to see if I am any smarter than just two months ago, I went looking for an IQ test I could take at home. After all, surely I could give myself an IQ test. In these days of home confinement, I have extra time on my hands and taking a test is not a burden, especially since I am a little smarter. I soon discovered that I could take an IQ test online. Each test site wanted me to submit my personal information before taking the test. Then after I took the test, the results would only be accessible through their web site. I could tell right off they were wanting me to subscribe to their service to learn my score. I figured there would be a cost to discover if my IQ was anywhere near Einstein's. I am smarter than they expected, I saw right through their IQ test scam. I was intelligent enough not to pay money for a smart test.

But what to do now? If I was smart enough not to pay for a test, what were my options? I soon figured out the answer, create my own IQ test. With my increased superior mental capacity due to my Einstein's hair style, I soon found several examples of typical IQ test questions.

If you are ready, here is my IQ test. First question. In this pattern of numbers, what comes next in this numerical arrangement, 101, 96, 81, 76, 71? Second question. Find the word scrambled in each group of letters. TLIGPE, KADRAURA, PATLEOD. The third question. A Hat is to hair, as a pencil is to? A. desk, B. table, C. lamp, D. tablet. Question four. Two men returning home passed each other on the street. One man was going north and the other was headed south. Which man reached his home first?

Now, I'm sure everyone reading the above four questions already knows the answers. If you knew as soon as you read the question what the correct answer is: then you too have increased your IQ during this pandemic. Our minds have not been all cluttered with unimportant junk that normally filled our days. Our brains have regenerated and become much more useful. In fact, tomorrow morning when you look in the mirror, you too may see a bit of Albert Einstein in your hair style and think to yourself E=mc2.

Now, some of you may believe your morning hair looks more like Mark Twain's. If that is true, you will want to know that Mark was also an intelligent man. In fact, his IQ was around 140. Maybe smarts and hair in a bit of disarray do have some correlation with our individual IQ's.

When I think of crazy stuff like this, I began to wonder if in a few weeks when Pete cuts my hair, will I go back to being, normal? Perhaps as a person's hair grows, it pulls on brain cells making them more active. Hair is very important in many different ways, remember Sampson and Delilah? His strength was increased by his long hair. Delilah cut his hair and he was as weak as a kitten. Just goes to show his intelligence vanished along with his hair.

During this time when beauty and barbershops are closed, it has given many of us an opportunity to see ourselves as we really are. In my case, an old white haired Albert Einstein look alike. For others, it may be like Cyndi Lauper's songs says, True colors are shining through and showing your roots. I'll bet when the governor opens beauty and barber shops, there will be a mad rush to be the first in the chair to hide true colors.

For my part, I will miss seeing Albert's face each morning when my hair is restored to its normal length. My early morning wild hair made me feel just a bit smarter, even though I knew it was just a reflection in a fun house mirror.

Before ending, I will give you the answers to the four IQ questions listed above. You can grade on a curve if it will help to improve your score. First questions answer, 66. Numbers were decreasing by 5. Second question answers, PIGLET, AARDVARK, TADPOLE. Third question answer, Tablet. Fourth question answer. The man walking south arrived at his home first. The earth is round and he was walking downhill all the way.

My story is meant to make you smile and ease your mind a bit. Most of us need to exercise not only our body, but our minds. If we do a bit of learning each day, by the time we return to our routine lives, we all will be as smart as Albert Einstein. Well, maybe. As for me, I hope Mary erased that picture she took of me when my hair looked like Albert Einstein's as he once looked Through the Lens.

 
 
 

 

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